Oh Glorious Mr. Mubarak! Please never again imprison anyone who listens to Bon Jovi!

I know how our metal heads have pimples and jet-black hair that covers the entire left side of their faces. But they are young and we must protect them. Like you protect us, Oh Immense one. Now everyone is afraid to listen to Bon Jovi again. And I know you think that owning a “Livin’ on a Prayer” LP is tantamount to de-flowering the honour of the nation, but they would have grown out of it, Oh Mr. Mubarak. Honest.